Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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