I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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