last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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