oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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