come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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