I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize