I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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