i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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