saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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