I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
