I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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