piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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