counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
