my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
