maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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