well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize