I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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