so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
