i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
