You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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