There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
