What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
