Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
