The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
