i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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