Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
