Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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