So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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