OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you had me at cake vodka
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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