i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
