my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
