Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
