Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just want nice things and good sex
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
