he puts the penis in happiness.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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