So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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