i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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