we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
