batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize