I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
