Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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