He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
