just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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