he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
