Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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