your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
