what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
