So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
