I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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