Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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