What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize