Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
