no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
