So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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