I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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