we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
