I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize