I puked a lego.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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