Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
