he shaved USA in his pubs
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
