it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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