I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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