i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
