you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
where are you?
Hypothermia
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize